What do you actually want? Less cars. More green. Tall trees. Solid earth. To feel love. In this episode, I’m getting real about the difference between focusing on what I don’t want and actually getting clear about what I DO want. I unpack my relationship with acting, burnout, money, coming home, and the fears I unknowingly attached to one of my biggest dreams. And then I realize something in real time: I was fear mongering my own dream. Sometimes the biggest thing standing between us and the reality we say we want is the story happening inside our own heads. Your thoughts matter. Your beliefs matter. And you are the common denominator of your reality.
I’ve done a lot of healing, and now I’m back home asking myself some big questions.
What do I actually want?
Not what do I want to escape from. Not what am I afraid of. Not what could go wrong. What do I genuinely want my life to feel like?
I talk about wanting less traffic and more green, tall trees and earth. I talk about wanting to feel love. I unpack the burnout of constantly working just to cover my expenses and what happens when the reality you’re living no longer feels aligned with the reality you want.
Then we get into acting.
For so long, I could see the dream: movies, recognition, influence, inspiring people, bringing joy, being a Lightbringer. But underneath that dream was another conversation happening in my head.
What if it’s too much? What if I can’t memorize everything? What if I don’t sleep? What if it completely dysregulates my nervous system?
And there it was.
I was fear mongering my own dream.
How often do we say we want something while simultaneously creating an entire internal argument for why having it would be terrible?
Sometimes you have to catch your thoughts while they’re happening and ask yourself: What am I really thinking? What is actually true?
I’m also talking about coming home after doing all this healing, recognizing old patterns without automatically becoming them again, and getting clearer about how I want to show up consistently for this community.
Because your thoughts create reality.
So check yourself before you wreck yourself. 😉
And yes, Dottie makes an appearance because apparently deep conversations about reality creation are better with a Brittany Spaniel nearby. 🐾
What do you want?
Get clear. Pay attention to the story you’re telling yourself. And stop fear mongering your own dream.
Ciao,
Ashley ✨